I am seeing a lot of talk about identity at the moment and how we need to be able to be our unique selves and are starting to talk a lot of common sense, from corners of the internet that people I didn’t expect to agree with that we need some common sense around identity, my take is that biology is real but that at the same time that gender dysphoria is very real but that it’s not as common as people think and that a community that shuns people who transition isn’t a very really inclusive community at all, I do wonder if we are harming people by affirming them instead of asking them to confront there reality and this is where as I have seen a person who “identifies as trans-disabled” and they have a very real disorder called Body integrity dysphoria - Wikipedia however real cases of it a very rare but I am glad to see that people are being called out as this behaviour does really harm the disabled community and it shows a lack of disrespect to the disabled people.
We are also seeing that as people socially transition they choose to use disabled bathrooms and this is fine when people aren’t around but when people are around they again are taking away our agency to be able to be independent and I have realized that people have a very strong desire to be independent and I see that I have used this desire in a very wrong way and that has been my downfall. I wanted to be independent and I didn’t accept that I had disabilities and I hid them very well it wasn’t until my late 30’s that I accepted that I have disabilities and that what I am doing is called masking.
I see that I am trying to rebuild my life but I have more challenges than others and they do actually have an impact on every aspect of my life including my social life and this is why I am glad to see that people are calling out people who are being selfish and taking away real resources from other people who need them and I am glad to see something very simple coming back. This being common sense and good judgment.
I am also going to call myself out her as I didn’t always reconsider the impact that my disabilities had on other people and it’s not until I am getting older and realizing at some point I am going to have to make it on my own. That I am realizing how vulnerable I am to abuse and neglect, I am so lucky to have a very supportive network as I used to be chronically online and I wonder how many people take that as real life it’s not and it’s not a real representation of real life and I nearly today gave up on the blog. But I am going to persist on it and to be able to keep going is a sign of strength.
I am also trying not to be a person who complains about everything but I see that I am someone who has been trained to spot problems and this is where I see that we need to bring back some common sense and to have some respect as I see that basic respect has gone out the window and that people who demand respect don’t know how to earn it and this is something that I see that some of my disabled peers struggle with and I am trying to be a good role model to them but find that I am struggling with this and I know that I am not alone in this that people do become like the people who you spend time around and that people need to be able to confront this.
However I see that I am the most high “functioning” of the group and that this is a thing but I also see that it is a bad thing at the same time, much like the internet has brought us connection it has also torn us apart and created echo chambers and radicalization as well. So I see that this is where people who are able bodied but “identify” as disabled or even worse who are faking for views we see that this really does need to stop and that we need to be able to fil the void that they are looking to fill and I see that this is a very controversial take but if people are still fighting over the right to identify as disabled but we need to be precise in our wording here in that people who have been diagnosed have every right to claim what they need but if you are identifying as disabled without having the proper assessments but because of an internet quiz you need to see a doctor to confirm your diagnosis as there is lots of physical health issues that could be mistaken for other things and this is where I have a big issue about self-identity as well and I understand that becoming disabled is a huge issue but we need to have the right mindset about it and understand that it is going to impact every part of your life and I didn’t realize the impact of mine on my social life and skills until I realized ever one who is able bodied and part of my friendship network is married or in a committed relationship and I am still wondering where I fit in due to me not fitting into the disability seen in my area and not quite fitting into the entrepreneurial network in Toowoomba and feeling like I am to old to be a youtuber and a blogger as I feel like that this is a younger persons game but I realise that feelings pass and that a feeling is just that a feeling not reality and that it needs to be said that your feelings can be hurt and badly but when it’s just a feeling from a one off you can heal but when you don’t know where you fit it can leave you badly confused and when your bassline state is confused anyway I see that this is where people need to realise how good we have it and to start to be thankful for what we have and to stop petty wars over essentially adjectives and how they identity if you want to be called by a certain name I will call you by it but if you don’t give me the considerations I need to even exist this is where I am going to start calling you out on your privilege and start to question your militant stance on enforcing my speech.
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