This is going to be a bit more of a post getting back to the roots of the blog and this is talking about disability so I recently posted a video about disability and the internet and how things can be taken the wrong way and how to not let it get to you and this is harder than it seems.
But I am active on Reddit, and I know that I am doxing myself, but I think that this needs to be talked about. It was on the Ask Reddit thread, and it was asking, “What is the best response to what the duck, (I am sure you know what I am saying) is your problem?”
I replied without saying that I have disabilities that I say. “How much time have you got?” and if it was a stranger as it generally is who says this in this manner, it is an attack on you and I say as well as “How much time have you got? I also said would you like to improve your communication skills with people who have a disability, I have a YouTube if you are interested?”
It does take people back and we need to be aware of that and seek to seek out inclusion, as we are the last group that in reality doesn’t have equal access to things that people take for granted in that they have access to and that they don’t see the erasure of disability only spaces such things at accessible toilets have become gender neutral, belief in people with a disability is at an all-time low due to people abusing care programs for their gain and we are seeing people who “identify” as trans abled, demanding access to disability spaces and the accommodations that we have fought hard for. So, to be very clear these are able-bodied people who feel like they should be disabled and will go to extreme measures to become disabled or will attract attention by using a mobility aid when they don’t need it. (I am doing a blog post and videos about them as well stay tuned)
Things like Jobs, Housing, Internet, Higher Education, and even there is unequal access to accessible housing and access to care programs if you don’t have a NDIS package.
I saw the thread on Reddit and a person was saying that I was a terrible person for saying such things and I needed to not be in people’s faces, but I tried not to let it bother me, however, I am writing about it now as things took a positive turn in that people, defended me against what is known on line to be a troll someone who is looking to get a reaction out of you and in extreme cases to use it against you.
Generally, they aren’t nice people in real life but I see that the best of humanity came out and people came to my defence online saying that as I said when this line is said to a person with disabilities it is generally meant to be an attack and an insult so we often are in your face to remind you we don’t owe you an explanation and if I am ticking or can’t get my words out in a coherent manner it is a disability. It’s not something I can control like my diet or how I dress or how I communicate with people on a good day.
It was nice to see people saying that this person needed to get out of the thread and that they were not nice, the person only wanted a reaction.
However, I did see that they were downvoted for people who aren’t familiar with Reddit you comment in threads or communities based around a common theme, called subreddits communities but subs is the term generally used on the internet, and we see that there is a wide variety of subs so from Ask Reddit to NDIS, Disability, Get disciplined, Deciding to be better, to discussing fandoms that aren’t on tumbler or people who don’t want to risk the doxing on tumbler ( doxing being the term for people being able to search a photo or YouTube clip and find out through sound or landmarks where that person lives. )
The people coming to my defence online were nice about it and they asked for my YouTube handle, and this is the highest compliment you can give a YouTuber.
It reminded me that civility online still does exist and that I was taken aback by the person who defended me and I clarified that I have disabilities and I face this question more than I would like to admit as I come across as “normal” so I don’t use a mobility aid, I don’t have a limb difference the only way you realize I am disabled is by taking to me or seeing me tick when I am stressed.
I also only go out in public with family, friends, or a support worker now but that is more to do with the fact that I am still recovering from Covid and a chest infection that I had after it. However, this interaction has given me faith in humanity and reminded me that it is people behind the screen and that they don’t know me in real life and that if they did, they would have a much more of an understanding of disability.
We see that disability is still widely misunderstood and we are having people who are politically motivated push words on us that we don’t use ourselves this is yet another example of disability erasure and after the strides of the 70s in the USA, such as the protests that lead to the ADA ( the Americans with disabilities act and other accommodations ) and the fight in Australia for the NDIS and other disability rights we see that this is taking us back to where we are pitted and these people have the best of intentions but feel that they can speak for us instead of amplifying our voices and being an Allie.
So, these words are basically avoiding using the words that are the best adjectives to describe us, and these are words disabled, special needs, ADHD, Autistic, or in my case has a brain injury. We are seeing that soft words are differently abled, neurodiverse, or neuro spicy and they all have their place, but we are seeing that these are pushed down our throats due to the fact that some people can’t use the other adjectives as it makes them feel uncomfortable.
I then feel that it is ironic to have something that makes a person feel uncomfortable for asking what I consider to be a very rude and invasive question to a person with a disability, and there are better ways to ask this question and we see that people don’t even consider this being rude to a person with a disability and we don’t owe anyone but our family, friends and caregivers an explanation to what is wrong with us and this is why I see this question as an invasive personal attack on me and not needed to be asked with the ( duck profanity).
For people who want to know how to ask a similar question without being rude some great examples are.
Do you mind me asking if there is a problem I can help with?
Do you mind telling me what is wrong?
If there is a child, do you mind, and my child would like to know why you use. and then they can let the child ask?
But the biggest thing to remember both online and in reality is that people don’t owe you an explanation and they do have their own stressors and they have nothing to do with you and by asking the question it was asked on Reddit it means that you might actually need to work on your communication skills as let’s be honest we are all adults or over 16 hear it’s a dick move to ask in this way. (the way it was presented on Reddit) also if you are going to check out reddit just a word to the wise check out what is good manners on the sight as this will vary from sub to sub and will be very different from what a person is used to if you haven’t experienced reddit before.
Let me know if you want to see a post on internet good manners on sights like reddit, discord and YouTube as they all have their own subcultures and way of thanking other people and even abbreviations that vary from Facebook and other more mainstream social media as well as even twitter can be a minefield as well.
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