I wrote about disability and consent and I see that this is only the tip of the iceberg that is “wrong” with disability. Thoughts in Australia, as I am seeing on other forms of social media people being accused of faking a disability and this isn’t OK and I have gone through this myself I didn’t always identity as having a distality but I do and it effects every aspect of my life and we see that this isn’t a great thing as I have two sisters both happy with Children and I am nearly 40 ( I turn 39 this year and I am starting to see that I might be forever alone due to a complex combination of things and I don’t want to give up on relationships, but due to my circumstances it is very hard to get out and meet new people.
I have tried internet dating and I all I gained was an empty bank account and this is something that needs to be addressed as well that we are encouraged to date but at what cost and we see that the media does push “disability” into tropes of the eternal teen, the super power, or the thing that breaks the family apart and I see that I am to one that has nearly broken the family at times due to really bad decisions and also a lack of funding to get out into the community as well.
I have a great support team but I do battle mental health issues being ADHD, depression and anxiety and I feel that these don’t help my case at all and I do want to meet people but I really haven’t had the skills needed to move beyond a friendship to a relationship and to seek out what I need in life and this being, companionship from others and we see that disabled people are encouraged to date other disabled people or to not date at all or if one person is disabled we see that they then need to be able to cope with the persons disability and don’t even get me started on Devotee’s.
I just went for a walk to get out of the house and I am seeing that even then there is “young” families at the park near my house and that I was the odd one out and I can’t shake this feeling that I am always going to be the odd one out.
I do have a few people that I like but they don’t have a clue that I like them more than as a friend and have been crushing on them for a couple of years now and I am not sure of their orientation so I am unsure what their reaction will be.
It’s something that we need to really start talking about as the news cycle does seem to push the narrative that the NDIS is a cost blow out and that it’s taking away from other social services, but at what cost to the people it helps who do have a disability? This is a really important question that needs to be asked.
So I am forcing myself to get out and to confront what is happening and to hopefully meet someone lovely along the way and to be able to force myself to get out of bed a lot earlier and to be off devices a lot more as I am finding that this isn’t helpful at all to be the only single person in the room and I know that people say that there is plenty of fish in the sea, and other empty sayings but at what emotional cost is it to find someone to have a good stable relationship with when I don’t have a great stable relationship with myself and that I am limited in who I can have over in my own home and this is why I moved out of the family home but I didn’t really think it through and now I need to be reaping what I have sown and I think that is isolation and loneliness and I see that I am working on self-love.
I now see where Dr Jorden Peterson is right that we are lying to young girls and women about work being the most important thing in their lives.
I do book marks for my nephew’s school l library and we see that they can’t get people to come in and cover library books and we see that yes it’s the only time that it has been offered to do more covering and for my mum to teach it but we see that both parents are working it is rare to have a stay at home parent and even then they might work from home and we see that this is why schools struggle to have, volunteers and things like girl guides and scouts are closing down as they can’t afford the insurance and to keep up with the trainings it does take a lot of work and to be able to sacrifice the time as well. As these organizations have always been at the for front of inclusion of people with a disability and we see that people need to be able to have a conversation about disability and honesty without it becoming a political plot point and this is what I feel that the disability sector has become a political point scoring match and I see that I am contributing to this by putting this out on the internet as well.
I would love to hop in a time machine and to tell past Andrea to not quit a good job and to move on from a toxic one much sooner, but we see that it would make me a very different person and I am not sure where that would leave me as well.
I honestly feel like an eternal teen as I have, limited responsibility, I don’t have a job but am working towards having the blog as a business and having myself be a speaker and to see what life will bring me as I see that there has been a decline in maturity in people in my age group and I do put it down to a few complex factors, the internet, the GFC, and Covid have all made a delayed in meeting the milestones that define adult hood and we don’t seem to have the things that mark adult hood any more such as for upper class girls, debutante balls, we have school formals, we don’t have gone off to University as it’s mostly on line and due to the cost of living we see that most people have to stay in the family home as well.
But this is where my argument comes in that people with a disability need to be taught radical self-compassion and this is very defend from self-care but this is realizing that what they can achieve will be different and to be set different expectations for themselves and to see that people need to be aware that some people with the same disability will have very different views on life as well and to be very aware of that as well. Some will use there disability as an excuse and others will try their hardest to keep up and to possibly make themselves sick in keeping up and I know that I did and I look back at the clothing I wore and I see that I wasn’t healthy at all. So now I am trying to play catch up but how to do that is another thing as well what do I need to catch up on as society tells us that we are defined by what we own and that we need to constantly by things to make us happy but when we step out of that native and start to question that we start to see that it’s honest connections that make us happy and for me this connection is found through a few of the groups that I am in as well.
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