( Please be aware that this contains and talks about serious mental health issues and Suicide )
Alec Lightwood at the start of the show is very repressed we also see a very dysfunctional family that realizes how dysfunctional they are when they are under a spell that makes them see their worse fears play out and we see that Alec internalizes a lot and blames himself for things that he isn't responsible or he doesn't have the training to deal with. Things like letting a demon into the institute result in a large number of Shadowhunters being harmed or killed. His sister Izzy is one of them that ends up possesses as well as himself and he ends up killing Clary's mother ( this is a deviation from the books and was used as a plot device to have Clary come of age more dramatically)
We start to see the mental health burden on Alec that years of being told he isn't good enough play out in reality. I have talked about Alec being a great representation of hidden depression as we see that he goes through the motions and having been brought up that emotions are nothing but a distraction we see that this has a toll on him. That only Magnus sees and tries to take care of we see that Magnus care's for Alec despite an age gap, but they share the same level of emotional maturity.
His family takes on the role of Caretaker in his parent's absence, both in the role of caring for his family and being the head of the institute. One that comes with a lot of responsibility and we see the pressure of that responsibility play out in the way that when they are preparing for a mission we see Alec be frustrated at the fact that because Clary has come into the Shadoworld things have changed and it puts what is called the cold peace at risk, for everyone Jace and Izzy are enjoying the shake-up but Alec sees the reality of it and knows that there will be a fall out from this.
Izzy knows that Alec needs to talk to someone and around him sees that he isn't happy but Alec is so focused on keeping the institute safe and running that he doesn't have the time for hobbies that others do, it isn't until he meets Magnus that we see him loosen up even then we do see that he at times treats Magnus badly as he is used to being other peoples emotional punching bag.
We do see frustration Alec come out at times in the course of the first series. This frustration is quite common in adult children that grew up in dysfunctional families.
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